Monday, October 23, 2006

Green light

This is my favorite picture of the leaves from this weekend. I'm a former California girl and the fall foliage was breathtaking. I'd seen pictures before, but the real thing was incredible. The festival was also great. There were so many people there! At one booth, you had to elbow your way to the yarn, quickly grab what you wanted, and then stand in a HUGE line. I sent B to wait in line while I did the elbow thing and he got to the register just as I made it out. It was perfect.

This was a much needed trip for both of us. I love all things yarn, and seeing so many different kinds and meeting the people who actually raise the animals and spin the yarn themselves was great. Completely immersing myself in the festival took my mind away from the stress and anxiety of IF and IVF. We enjoyed maple sugar cotton candy, fresh cider, and delicious apple pie. It was great to do something together that didn't involve yet another trip to the clinic. It was a small taste of how easy life used to be.

When we got home, we checked the mail and found a thick packet of information from the clinic containing detailed injection directions and the consent forms. Talk about a quick return to reality! B didn't want to think much about the "in case one of you dies" questions. We took them to the clinic this morning to sign them so they could witness the signing. A quick ultrasound (My doctor said my ovaries look "happy" which made me giggle) some bloodwork (I hope my veins can survive more than the few draws I've had so hurt!) payment for the cycle (gulp) and injection instructions (looks easy when they do it!) and I was home again. The clinic just called to tell me I am ready to start injections tomorrow.

I'm going to hold the images of the beautiful foliage in my mind and close to my heart. They're my new calming vision. I will do my meditations each day and work on my second retrieval/transfer sock. I'm going to get through this...those needles are just small pieces of metal that aren't going to get in my way. My MIL and Mom both commented today how proud they are of me and the strength I've shown so far. That surprised me because I don't feel particularly strong. But I'm going to believe them and keep their words in my mind tomorrow morning. There's no turning back now!


Robin said...

You're totally strong!!! Not many women will commit to this process at all. Good luck sweetie!

serenity said...

The foliage for me also takes my breath away. It is the single reason I stay in New England.

I've often found it odd that people think so little of themselves that they assume if they were in the same situation they'd just shrivel up and die. We're not strong, we're just coping. Taking one step at a time.

I am pulling for you and hoping for the VERY best from this cycle for you!

Michelle said...

I just came across your blog - we are in very similar situations! I just started Lupron yesterday and we are also dealing with MFI. We have no insurance coverage, so we went straight to IVF. Why mess around? ;) I have also recently started blogging and am also finding it incredibly therapeutic. And I'm impressed with your attitude about the needles. I have been whining, whining, whining about the shots. I really want to stop, though, as I know it's not THAT big of a deal, it will all be well worth it if it works, and I don't want to make my husband feel worse that we need IVF to get pregnant.

Anyway, sorry to ramble, but I could relate to much of what you've written. Best of luck to you!!!