I'm in a much better place today. I knew when I wrote my last post that time would help restore my sense of calm. But blogging about my feelings has been an amazing source of stress relief. It's really incredible - it's like throwing myself down on the ground and having a tantrum, but it's all in my mind. With that said, I'd like to say thanks to everyone who left comments. It means so much to me to know that I'm not alone and that people understand where I'm coming from. I really appreciate it!
I have some positive news today. I spoke with the IVF coordinator nurse and set up a series of appointments. Tomorrow we're going to have our HIV/hepatitis bloodtests. She was surprised that we hadn't had these done already, but the doctor said we'd have it done at the start of the cycle. On Friday I have a physical, sonogram, and trial transfer. Then on Monday I have another sonogram and bloodwork. If the bloodwork comes back okay, I'll start Lu*pron Tuesday. You know what this means, right? I'd better start working hard on my second sock!
And I also have to express how proud I am of B. He's been out at a client in another town with one of his coworkers. On the drive back to the office, the coworker started talking about a friend she feels sorry for because they've been TTC with no success and are preparing themselves for IVF. Instead of staying quiet, B told her he knew how the friend felt because we're going through it too. When the coworker started asking questions to find out what was wrong with me (one more of the IF stereotypes that drives me INSANE) B said, "It isn't an issue with my wife." That small statement is such a HUGE step for him. He's said all along that he doesn't care if people know about IVF, but he doesn't want to talk to them about his issues. I was amazed that he talked to her about this, and I really hope it's a sign of his coming to terms with the issue.
That's all for now!