Stark White

I gave into temptation this morning and tested at 6dp5dt. Nothing. Not even a hint of a line. Not even a line that could only be seen in super bright light when held at a weird angle.

I admit that the testing conditions weren't ideal. The only test I could find expired 8/06. A little time spent with Google revealed that this wasn't a good idea. It seems like expired tests give false negatives and positives. I've purchased two brand new tests for the future. I also didn't have a very good sample. I know that concentrated FMU is best, but that wasn't possible. I have to drink a lot of water to combat the OHSS bloating and have been visiting the bathroom every hour. While this has helped me lose 8 pounds of water weight, it isn't ideal for testing. And yes, 6dp5dt is still early. I would never have tested 11 DPO in a non-IVF cycle. Despite these rationalizations, I just feel down about my chances. I don't have any feelings or symptoms that can't be explained by the PIO or OHSS.

In other related news, I continue to recover from the OHSS. I saw my doctor on Friday and learned I had gained an amazing 20 pounds. Assuming 5 pounds of that can be attributed to my less than wonderful eating habits while on stims, that's 15 pounds of water. Most of that showed up in only a few hours. My bloodwork came back normal and I am going back tomorrow for another checkup. He wants to keep a close watch on me, especially if I'm pregnant. I have to say that OHSS is very cruel to a person in the 2ww. No matter what I wear, I look about 6 months along. This glimpse of what could be burns. We skipped a family gathering today because it would be hard to explain my new bulge and I just wasn't up to dealing with happy pregnant people even though I care about them. This isn't how I usually deal with life, but I just need to look out for myself right now.

I think I might test again tomorrow.