I went in this afternoon for my baseline ultrasound. I have one follicle on the left side - this means my husband won our bet. I asked him what side he thought it would be on, and he was right! The doctor said he's 99% sure I'll ovulate either Friday or this weekend, but I start the dreaded OPK's this afternoon just in case. If I don't ovulate by Monday, he'll give me a trigger shot and I'll have the IUI that day and the next.
I asked him about the results of my bloodwork - everything is perfect. I also asked him how we start IVF if our numbers come back as low as they did for our last IUI - we had less than half a million motile sperm after our two inseminations. He said we would schedule an IVF consultation appointment that takes 30-45 minutes and go from there. I really hope that the office will let us make the appointment before I get my period so we don't have to waste any time. I realize that there's always a chance even with low numbers, but I also am pretty well acquainted with this funny thing called reality.
So that's that. I'm not freaked out by the process of IVF. I'll give myself shots. I don't care about being put out for retrieval. I'm fine with frequent bloodwork. Bring it on! I guess I'm more freaked out by the thought that it might work. I don't know how I will deal with success after trying so long. It's been a long time since I've imagined myself pregnant and I think it will be hard to transition from putting all of my energy into TTC to thinking about being a mother. I'm full of bitterness and anger and I don't expect that seeing two pink lines will be the magic wand that takes those feelings away. I'm a long way from needing to worry about this, but it's scary to think about how much IF has changed me and my perspective on the world.